If you're havin' trouble with the high school head
He's givin' you the blues
You wanna graduate but not in 'is bed
Here's what you gotta do
Pick up the phone
I'm always home, call me anytime
Just ring three six two, four three six o
I lead a life of crime

Chorus:
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds they're done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds they're done dirt cheap

You got problems in your life of love
You got a broken heart
He's double dealin' with your best friend
That's when the tear drops start, fella
Pick up the phone, I'm here alone, or make a social call
Come right in , forget about him
We'll have ourselves a ball

Chorus

Break
, per intro

If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps naggin' at you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts
Pick up the phone, leave her alone
It's time you made a stand
For a fee I'm happy to be
Your back door man. Whoo!

Chorus

Concrete shoes, cyanide , T. N. T.
Done dirt cheap
Neck-ties , contracts , high voltage
Done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds )
Done dirt cheap ) Repeat
They're ready to send him on the cruise